'What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?'



‘What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?' Maya's patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.
Sanjay knew that she was serious. 'Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I'd say.'
'Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .' she rolled her eyes in disgust. 'That's what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man.
Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.' She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, 'Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?’
“Yes, I have slept with her…” Ravi was standing at doorstep. Sanjay held his head in his hands in disgust and Maya got struck in his six word sentence. A lady; H.R manager of 200 crore rupees company didn’t know how to react to this. Neither had she words to say nor any expression for her face for this situation. May be because she had never seen any women’ face when their husband told them his is sleeping with some other women. 
“No, this is not the truth Maya. He never slept with any other woman. I know him…” He was talking to Maya but looking at Ravi’s face to know why he was not telling the truth to his wife. 
“Why the hell you are lying Ravi? I have been with you all the time. I know the truth. At least you can’t lie to me yaar.” Now he was talking to Ravi, with his hand on his shoulder.
Ravi freed his shoulder from his arm and moved towards statue Maya. 
“You have been with me Sanjay, but you have not been in my mind.” He was talking to Sanjay but looking at Maya. “Truth is I have been sleeping with her in my mind, in my thoughts and not only with her with many other also. My intentions, my desires, my soul all are corrupted. Just my body left because I don’t have guts to say what I feel. I am afraid. I am afraid of what will people say, what will my parents say and what will my wife say.
Trying to keep people with me, trying to keep our marriage safe I have murdered myself.  And Maya you are with me for what I am not. You love me for what I am not. You will hate real me. That’s why I am not being real. It doesn’t matter I am having sex with her or not, inside me I am sleeping her. And problem is I am feeling guilty yaar. Every second of day I breathe in guilt. Guilt of lying to the person who is the most important in my life; my wife, and guilt of lying to myself. I am not being honest to anyone, not even to myself, fucking myself…” He threw his bag on floor, not in anger but in abashment. 
“I am sorry Maya, I know I am doing wrong with you, even I tried to make it right but it is not working. I have to be honest, this dishonesty is suffocating me from months. I don’t want you to leave me Maya…” Ravi pushed himself to hug Maya. He was crying with tears. His face was on her shoulder but she was still unmoved, her hands were not holding her love of life, to whom she had given her everything…
Sanjay stated to move out of their private moments but stopped by Maya’s voice. “I am coming with you Sanjay. I can’t live in this house anymore.” O God! She stepped away from him, from his embrace. He collapsed on the floor on his knees. She run out the home and Sanjay run to hold his friend. 
“Why the hell you said all these things Bhai, what was the need!!!” Sanjay sat on floor on his knees in front of him.
“It was needed yaar, it was needed. Please leave me alone for some time and look after her. She should not commit suicide. I can’t live without her now.” He was neither angry nor insane. He was talking in his senses, so Sanjay left him there and went after Maya. 
Maya was waiting in his car, her head was down on dashboard and hairs were covering her face so he didn’t get she was crying or what! 
“Don’t worry Maya, everything will be fine. We will talk to him in the morning. He is just messed up with his work.” She didn’t reply so he gave up to console her. 
“I am taking to your parents’ house, let him be with himself tonight.” He throttle the engine. 
“No! I don’t want my parents to know about all this. Let’s go to your apartment.” Her voice was breaking in sobs so now he knew she was crying. He didn’t say anything and moved car to his apartment.     
“You must be famished, tell me what you want to eat I’ll cook for you.” He asked her when they entered in his apartment.
“No thanks Sanjay, I don’t want to eat anything. I just want to sleep.” She was not crying anymore but her eyes were still brimming with tears. 
“Yeah. That is bedroom, you sleep there. As I always sleep in my sofa, with my T.V on.” He jumped in sofa trying to make her laugh but she just passed him a formal smile and went to sleep.
Next morning when she woke up, her head was light compare to last night and tears were dried on her face. She found a letter in her hand.
“I am leaving Mumbai forever Maya, I don’t have guts to face Ravi after what happened last night. Please don’t say anything about last night to Ravi and live happily with him. Life is too short to understand things. Some things should be left un-understood. Sometimes living things is better than understanding them. Don’t leave Ravi, he loves you more than anything and everything. You can’t find more honest person than Ravi on this earth.” Said the letter in her hand. 
Letter fell from her hand. She closed her eyes and was remind of everything that happened last night.

Last night after an hour when she went to sleep she came back. Sanjay was watching T.V.

“What happened Maya? Do you need anything?” he got up from sofa seeing her tensed. 
“I want to have sex with you Sanjay…” She dropped her blanket in which she was wrapped herself. 
She was standing naked in front of him. 
Sanjay took his blanket and rushed to cover her “No! No! No Maya. We can’t do this!”
“I need to do this Sanjay and I can’t trust anybody else. I want to know if am I be able love him after having sex with someone else.” She dropped that blanket too and placed her lips on his lips grasping his head in her arms. He tried to push her away but his hand glided to her back from her waist.

She opened her closed eyes in the next morning. She sat cross-legged in bed and again closed her eyes this time to know what she was feeling about everything, about her first sex with other than her husband and about her husband whom she left crying last night. She tried to ascertain her feelings. It was strange. She was feeling light, she was feeling freed. She was feeling like she had been carrying some weight on her soul for a long time and now she put it down. Her soul was freed from that weight. Of course that weight was not her marriage, that weight was not Ravi. Even a corner heart was worrying about him now and another corner wanted to love him more.  That weight was of boundaries, was of her own mind-set.  

She took out her phone and typed everything about last night. When she was done her mind was asking her to think again before sending it to Ravi but she ignored her mind and sent that text to Ravi on WhatsAap. She kept looking at it until it showed ‘seen’. 
She slid into bed again, she didn’t want to see his reply, and closed her eyes and held her first time freed heart. She fell asleep again. And then woke up with same flying heart. She looked into her phone for his reply. Her flying heart came back to ground when she didn’t find any reply from him. She sent some more messages but there was no ‘seen’ and no any reply. 
She waited for an hour then two and then three hours but no ‘seen’ and no reply. Worries started bounding her heart again. For the first time from this morning she was feeling guilty of what she did last night. We decide right and wrong on account of others’ reactions. His reaction was negative that is why she started feeling guilty. And this guilt and worries took her back to her home, his home, their home. 
Door was as it opened as she left when she left last night. She entered with silent steps. Her eyes went blind on what they just saw, her heart sunk in depths. She wanted to scream but her voice stuck somewhere in her throat. His body was there in front of eyes on the floor… she fell on her knees and crawled to her body.
She threw herself on him and her throat let her voice came out… “Raaavvvviiiiiiii….”
“Maya!!! What are you doing..? I was just sleeping…” God!!!! He was alive… he was fine… 
“shittttt!!! Shitttt!” she slapped sharply on his face… “What the hell wrong with you Ravi!!! Never! Ever! Sleep like this again, not even in next seven life.” She was still slapping him, on his shoulder, on his chest, on his arms…    
“Ok! Please stop slapping me. It’s hurting.” She hugged him to her chest…
“I love you Ravi… I love you… I love you absolutely… I love you irrespective of everything. I want to be with you. Please don’t ever leave me.” She burst into tears. 
“I love you too my baby… please don’t cry… I am always with you. Nothing does matter. Don’t worry about anything!”

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