Open marriage...a story

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppresses the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. “Ten, nine, eight, seven…”there was no any space for any mistake. All was set. I was having my team with me, he was alone. We planned for this day, this moment. “Six, five, four…” He was my elder Brother. My blood Brother. I had to do that what I was doing that day. I loved and respected him whole my life and believe me what I was doing that day was also out of love and respect. It was for his good, to help him to get rid of his messed up life. “Three, two…” My heart tried to hold my finger which was ready to press the button. “One…” Done! I pressed the button. All Lights on at once!!!
“Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday dear Bhai/Papa/My Love…” me and my team was singing at full throttle. Me, my Bhabi (my brother’s wife) and their two gorgeous kids were in my team. We all were singing and dancing around him and hen hugging him from all four direction. A happy and almost perfect family. Sometimes I felt afraid of so much happiness in our family. It gave me sense of forthcoming storm. Nature is so unkind it always plan encounter with our fears. My heart swift backward when I found a pistol in my brother’s jacket. Were a decent and middle class family. Having pistol was a sin there. We never need it.
Before my mind started making theories about it I went straight into his room. Colour of his face changed seeing pistol in my hand.
“Choote give it to me.” My name is Saahas but he always call me Choote (younger). He slipped over the bed and took it from me. “Go and sleep Choote.” He patted on my cheek.
“No! First explain me Bhai. Why you need this?” I was enough young to question my elder brother.
He held my hand and drag me out of his room into my room. His grip on my hand told me that something is seriously wrong. He looked the door of my room from inside.
“Choote please don’t ask me. I can’t tell you anything. Forget about it, I promise I will not keep it any longer.” He was talking like he used to talk to me when we were kids.
“No Bhai I am not going to forget it like this. Tell me what is going on? You know what. Mom used to tell me that I am smarter than you and I have to be with you to help in every problem. I am following mom’s order.” This was not the first time I said this but this time he didn’t laugh or even smile on it. He dragged himself to bed and sat with face in his hands. O God! It was painful to see him in pain.
I pulled a chair for myself and sat in front of him, “Bhai please let it go. Say what is it for?”
“It is for me Choote. I brought it to kill myself.” He sighed on last word and I gasped. I ran out of words to ask any question. I would have believed if someone else would told me that my brother wants to commit suicide. Even I would not have believed my brother if I were not looking at his solemn face.
“Choote I am in mess bhai. I am in love with a girl in my office. We have crossed every limit. She is not getting out of me. I am really fallen of her. I can’t live like this. I am deceiving everyone; you, your Bhabi and our kids. I am deceiving everyone Choote. I love you all also, I can’t get away from you.  I am having earth weight on my heart bro. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know! I am too much attracted towards her. I am too much involved in her.” He was crying with tears in his eyes. He stopped crying and speaking when he looked up over my shoulder. Bullshit!!! Bhabi was standing there. Now I was more afraid than my brother. Even my heart was afraid, it was beating without any sound. I can’t see this family broken. I can’t see MY family broken. It is the most perfect Family I have ever seen. Always happy, always celebrating. May be this perfectness become the reason of what was happening that day. Because perfectness is boring. Normal people need problems to stay on track.
I stopped my thoughts and paid attentions what was going on there. Bhabi was standing beside me and in front of Bhai. I know she was looking straight at my brother. I didn’t dare to look at her face. I was feeling like I have committed that crime. She snatched that pistol from his hand and threw it somewhere in room.  Something broke due to it but I didn’t turn to see. Sound of thrown pistol was enough to tell me that Bhabi was madly mad at him. She didn’t say anything, not a single word. I saw her feet moving away. Then Bhai grab her right hand in his both hands. “Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me. Please talk to me Saamiya… please… don’t go please…” Tears rolled down from my eyes seeing him like this.  Don’t know how she was able to hold herself not to wipe his tears and hug him. Seeing a man crying is very hard.
She hauled her hand from his hands. “I am not going anywhere damn it!!! Kitchen me jaa rhi hu… sabji jal jayegi… and for god’s sake don’t say anything now!!! We will talk about it tomorrow!!!” I think even she didn’t know how loud she was saying these lines. She was releasing her anger with high voice, most people do it with abuses. That’s why they feel good after abusing. Whatever! That night Bhabi slept in kid’s room. And I slept with Bhai because I had to make sure he would not do anything silly.
Whole night and in the morning till kids left for school I was trying to solve this problem logically. If I look at it from my brother shoes. Then it looked like this; Of course he is free to love anyone. Why can’t he love someone in this age? Do marriage stops you to love someone! Then its mean something is wrong with marriage because we are here to love… and why should he suppress his desires to do anything. If he suppress his desires because of his marriage then its mean marriage is burden. And we all know suppressing desires leads to unhealthy life. Then how can a husband or wife want his partner to live an unhealthy life.
Then I flipped the coin of my thoughts and came on other side of it. What kind of love is this! If love happen like this then we can’t stop anywhere. How many time will it happen! And Do love means he want to leave his family and live with that girl, then what will Bhabi do? Where she will go? She is not even working! And even if she were working, is it fair with her! And Shit! What about Kids? Then Bhabi also has to get married with someone else to raise kids properly.
Hell..!!! My head was spinning like I was riding on Kingda ka! I gave without conclusion.
We were in their bedroom. Bahi was sitting on bed, Bhabi was standing behind a chair in front of him and I was standing in against the wall, out of their gaze. She asked me to go out once but I didn’t say anything so she let me be there. I looked at Bhabi. Her half open and swelled eyes were say she didn’t sleep whole night and her wet lashes with tears and redness in eyes were saying she was crying whole night. Now I was angry with my brother for doing this to her.
“Listen carefully Rishi…” It’s him, “I was thinking about it whole night and believe me it burnt me from everywhere; inside and outside.” Her voice and words both were controlled. “It’s very simple if you can understand. Do you remember last night when you told me all this, I was angry and then I went to kitchen to take care of the sabji?” He was nodding his head in yes without looking at her. “That is marriage Rishi. My whole world was upside down but I had to worry about khi sabji na jal jaye… that is marriage. It’s about responsibility, it’s about duty. And yeah Love. I can understand what you were saying about that girl. And believe me I respect your feelings. Love keeps happen to you, but the thing which is required for a marriage happen only once, I don’t know even its name. Love is childish, marriage is mature’s thing. Love is passion, marriage is discipline. Our marriage is perfect Rishi. I am completely happy and satisfy with you. And I know my kids are having a perfect Dad. You are free to love that girl, just don’t leave us. I want to have family with you. If it doesn’t seems perfect to you then you can leave I will not stop you.” She lean on her keens in front of him, placing her hands on his thighs trying to look at his down face. He wrap his arms around her and placed his face in her hair. “I love you Saamiya, I am really sorry if I hurt you. I am not going anywhere. You are perfect for me… I am sorry…” both of them were crying.
“No, please complete it. Spend some good time with her but please come home every night because I and kids waits for you…” both hugged again. “And give her your love but don’t give her any part of you and your salary…” he laughed in tears on this.
I was just standing there trying to believe my ears and eyes. I was still confused but happy for them at least they got their answers…

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